Bonds and Betrayal
by Andromakhe
Summary: Qui-Gon and Shmi watch Anakin's fall to the Dark Side and discuss the reasons and mistakes that led up to it. Covers Shmi's death up to Padme's.


Disclaimer: Kudos to Lucas for creating such fascinating characters. I humbly write for a fandom I love. No intellectual theft or monetary gain intended.

Spoilers: Eps II and III

A/N: Just kind of going by memory here, so if I've skipped something important, apologies in advance. I've glossed over the Clone Wars, so no mentions of specific events or Ahsoka. This is essentially only movie canon.

Qui-Gon saw Anakin holding his mother and caught his breath at the eerie similarity with his own death and another distraught Padawan trying to come to terms with his imminent loss. Shmi had even stroked Anakin's cheek. The only difference was that he hadn't told his boy he loved him. Qui-Gon sighed regretfully as Shmi tried to tell **her** son that she did.

His regret turned to horror as Anakin began his rampage, massacring everything that moved. He tried to call out to him, tell him to stop, but the boy was too far gone. And his own boy was in the clutches of his old Master, being tormented for refusing to fall. He was proud of Obi-Wan for being so sure he wouldn't have joined Dooku. He hoped Obi-Wan wouldn't find out about what Anakin just did. It would break his heart. It was certainly breaking **his.** No Jedi would do something so merciless, so unfair.

When Shmi Skywalker joined the Force, she was not greeted with peace and love but violence and hatred. Her Ani was using a lightsaber, a symbol of justice and honor, for vengeance and evil. Her heart grieved even as she longed to look away, but she couldn't shut out what she saw or heard. Not anymore. Anakin had always hated that they were slaves and had trouble adapting to change. But even she never dreamed he was capable of such cruelty. Of course, it was wrong for the Sand People to torture her to death, but it wasn't as though killing them would undo what was done. How had he gone from strong and caring to angry and bitter in just seconds? She could not recall such extreme mood changes when he was a boy. Yes, he could be sullen as a child, but she could usually calm him down and he never mentioned necessarily wanting to kill anyone.

She turned away as Anakin took her body back to the Larses and saw Qui-Gon approaching. He bowed to her and shook his head sadly, then turned away as something caught his attention. Following his gaze, she saw he was looking at a middle-aged Knight with auburn hair, blue eyes, and a short beard. He was currently alone and clearly in captivity. "Who is that?" Shmi queried politely.

"My son," came the soft reply. "He was my apprentice when I met you and Anakin, just on the cusp of Knighthood. I meant to train Anakin but someone made that impossible, so I asked Obi-Wan Kenobi to do it for me."

Shmi nodded in acknowledgement. "Oh, Ani is with Padme. They are…What? They are going to rescue your boy. Ani still seems to have a taste for danger."

"The Knight profession is right up his alley, in that case," Qui-Gon quipped. "They are running into a trap, I fear. Obi-Wan's captor is a very bad person. Cannot be trusted and certainly wishes to kill them."

They both fell silent as they watched the arena battle, the Separatist ambush, and the duel with Dooku. "Ani!" Shmi wailed as Dooku took his arm and electrocuted him with Sith lightning. Qui-Gon was impassive, but thought, like many times before, that Anakin should have obeyed Obi-Wan.

Shmi was happy that Anakin had married Padme, but sad they had to hide it.

Qui-Gon frowned worriedly. He knew Anakin was slowly crumbling under Palpatine's assault. "Ms. Skywalker, there is much to tell you about Anakin, things I think you will dislike. It may have been better if he'd stayed with you. I thought he could help the Jedi but gave little thought to the difficulties he would face being accepted in the Order and with my unexpected death.

"The Jedi are well-intended and fundamentally good, but we expect a lot more discipline and deference than most civilians. Anakin was a unique case, since he was accepted into the Order at age nine. Generally, Jedi are raised from infancy at the Temple, so it's really all they know until they are apprenticed and see the galaxy outside. Anakin saw the galaxy and already knew his place in it. Also, because he didn't grow up with the younglings at the Temple, it was hard for him to find a group to belong to among his age mates. I didn't realize until I saw Anakin growing up that the Jedi ways would feel restrictive and very much like slavery, particularly because he didn't wish to obey. You wanted your son to have a future, to have an opportunity to fulfill his potential. I thought the Jedi could train him to use the Force and he would do much good for the galaxy. He still could, but I'm not sure he will. As you've seen, there is much anger and frustration in him.

"Senator Amidala is problematic. The Jedi don't allow romantic attachments. Also, it would jeopardize Padme's career if it got out that she'd married a Jedi. That's why they had to keep the marriage hidden. The Jedi view romance as a possessive kind of love, which leads to attachment, which leads to fear, anger, and hatred. Anakin knows perfectly well that he's broken a very important Jedi rule, which bodes ill for his future as a Knight. The Jedi are not against love. Do not misunderstand. But we try to teach our students that death is not the end and that one must let go when the time comes. We think romance is especially difficult to let go of.

"I believe Anakin expected me to train him, and when I was killed, he couldn't accept the changed situation. Obi-Wan wasn't happy about the circumstances, either. He considered Anakin my responsibility and didn't like that suddenly, he had to look after him. But Obi-Wan is an honorable man and dutiful, and the only other Jedi Anakin had any real connection with. So he did his best to raise your son, and over time, both came to love each other, but first impressions are often damaging.

"Obi-Wan used to complain that I wasn't pragmatic enough; too spontaneous. I think this is a case where his complaint is valid. Cultural differences between civilians and Jedi, plus initial ill feeling, proved to be too much against our boys. I thought both of them were young enough to overcome such challenges, but with Palpatine as Anakin's confidant and adopted mentor, things are looking bleak. If Palpatine were not in the picture, maybe it would have worked and Obi-Wan could have lead him correctly. But Palpatine is someone I had no way of anticipating. He interfered in Anakin's training early on and encouraged Anakin on dark paths. For a decade, Anakin has absorbed Palpatine's words, but he has held out against them. Now, however, having fallen in love with the Senator and lost you, he will have reason to turn against Obi-Wan and the Jedi, who never allow him to do as he wishes. Palpatine is corrupting Anakin, encouraging him to obey his dark impulses. We all have dark impulses. But the Jedi don't condone listening to them.

"Anakin could confess to his marriage and leave the Order at this point. He's clearly unhappy as a Jedi. But he does love Obi-Wan, who would be sad to see him go, and your Ani is compassionate toward those he loves. Obi-Wan would let Anakin go, but I'm not sure Anakin could do the same. No matter how one looks at it, Anakin has no good choices. And maybe he wouldn't want Obi-Wan to be unprotected in wartime.

"I don't know what to tell you, Ms. Skywalker. The Jedi made mistakes with Anakin, he didn't know quite what he was getting into when he committed to us, I forced Obi-Wan into a situation he wasn't ready for, and there was Palpatine the predator, just waiting for his chance to influence Anakin completely. Truly, Obi-Wan is the only Jedi Anakin has any loyalty to. If Palpatine can remove that loyalty, I think Anakin will have nothing to hold him to the Light."

Shmi was rather confused by this information, but she did know one thing. "If Ani had stayed here, I might be alive now, but those Sand People would still be dead. He would have gotten so angry, he'd have killed them just by wanting to. I don't know much of the Force, but he could make objects float to him simply by wanting them. You discovered him because you have his ability. But I saw Obi-Wan with Anakin, and as far as I could see, he was trying to keep Ani safe. Ani disobeyed and lost his arm. So it was lucky you found him a decade ago rather than leaving him to this Palpatine, who sounds like he wants bad things for Ani."

"But Palpatine may not have met Anakin if he hadn't left you. He may not have married Padme, either, however. Then again, a part of me thinks what has happened with our sons is the will of the Force. That is to say, destined. In which case, Palpatine finding Anakin would have merely been delayed if I hadn't taken him to Naboo, and on top of that, he'd have had no Jedi influence concerning ethics of Force use. Palpatine would have simply trained Anakin to use the Force in destructive ways and would have turned him against you. I suppose it is useless to think about what might have been."

"You said the Jedi don't consider death the end. Clearly, it isn't. You also said that even though your Obi-Wan was not happy to have to raise my Ani at first, he did it because you asked and they have grown close. But Palpatine is undermining Obi-Wan's leadership. So it sounds like you chose a good person to teach Ani. If the Jedi have raised people like Obi-Wan, who can do what he doesn't want in order to ensure another's future, I think I made the right choice to entrust Ani to your group. The trouble is that you and I can do nothing about Palpatine, and it seems your son cannot, either."

"As I already stated, the real trouble is that Obi-Wan and Anakin had a difficult relationship because I was killed so suddenly and Obi-Wan was in no condition to think much about his own welfare, let alone Anakin's, in the beginning. This may have caused irreparable damage to their potential as a team. Because first impressions were unfavorable on both sides, they are close now but not as close as they should be. There are, shall we say, chinks in the armor. Small resentments on both sides, Anakin's willful disobedience, Obi-Wan's strict style, a perceived lack of love on both sides. They have good memories, too, but I don't think they will be enough with the odds so stacked against Obi-Wan and the Jedi. Palpatine, you see, has always been unfailingly solicitous and sympathetic. Anakin has no resentment toward him and therefore, thinks Palpatine really cares about him. I don't think Anakin understands that being treated kindly doesn't necessarily equal goodness. Maybe you and I didn't help matters, though." He half-smiled, sighing dejectedly. "I can assure you, Palpatine is up to something, and it's not good. He's a politician, and he's gradually gaining more and more control of the government. He wants Anakin's help, but would just as soon kill him when he's fulfilled his purpose."

"Politics are another subject quite outside my knowledge. For slaves, it doesn't much matter who is in control. For Tatooine, the Hutts and slave owners have immediate influence over our lives. Palpatine would not matter to me except that he now influences Ani.

"I never yelled at Anakin that I can remember. Nor was I strict with him. Since we were slaves, I sought to give him as much leeway as I could. I did sometimes lecture him and tell him what was right and wrong, and it seems like Obi-Wan is trying to teach Ani the same things I would have wanted him to learn - the importance of caring for others, of doing one's job, of accepting what one cannot change. Ani hated our lot in life. I don't blame him. But to change it must come from outside, and such chances are very rare. It was better for him to not hope too much. I'm grateful to you for arranging his freedom. Because of you, he has the chance to be all he can be.

"I think, though Obi-Wan may be too hard on Anakin, he doesn't mean to make him feel unloved. Anakin tended to listen to me, so there was little need to be strict. You said Ani often disobeys Obi-Wan, so it may be the only way Obi-Wan knows to even remotely control him."

"The Jedi serve others. We are not interested in governing or gaining power. I never considered how distasteful this would be to Anakin. Obi-Wan and I were raised Jedi, so I didn't realize a civilian would have a different perception of our position in the galaxy. Jedi think we are helping others, protecting others. I guess to Anakin, the only differences between being a Jedi and a civilian slave are the lightsaber and combat training. And maybe the meditation and having to serve more than just one master. In which case, he's worse off as a Jedi because at least civilian slaves only have to worry about those that own them.

"Jedi teachers, myself included, tend to be strict as a rule. It is convention. Obi-Wan is due respect and obedience based on his position alone. Anakin clearly doesn't agree. I suppose it is too much like Watto, who also was owed respect and obedience just because he owned Anakin. I can't really blame Anakin for wanting respect. But obedience and power are not things a Jedi should seek. Masters do not expect obedience because it makes us feel powerful. We expect it because more often than not, we know better. We know which paths are safer, which courses of action are more likely to succeed."

"You called Obi-Wan your son. You say 'training.' I call it 'raising.' But basically, it is the same thing, isn't it? Parents, like myself, are owed respect and obedience simply because of our position. If a parent is bad, intentionally hurting a child and not doing his or her best to provide for him, I can see the child not respecting them. But the Temple provided Ani with his physical and social needs, and Obi-Wan taught him and presumably was there for him emotionally. Yes, I know it's not perfect. There are misunderstandings between them. But Ani still loves your son, which must mean there's an emotional bond there. Ani is strong, healthy, still has a heart, a sharp mind, and the ability to connect with people. Based on that, I'd say your boy has done a pretty good job, considering. Perfection is an unreasonable expectation, so I don't fault your boy for his mistakes."

"I don't know about social needs. He did find a couple friends at the Temple - a kindhearted girl and a boy who loved droids and machines. But I don't think he really integrated with the rest of his fellow students very well. Obi-Wan did try to help Anakin emotionally, but I don't think he understood everything Anakin felt. Obi-Wan never knew his parents, is well-integrated and accepted in the Order, and simply doesn't agree with Anakin's worldview on a personal or professional level."

"I understand. But these disadvantages are still no one's fault. I agree with you that Palpatine is the main culprit for Anakin's unruliness."

Qui-Gon nodded in agreement and they both watched as Obi-Wan and Anakin suffered and triumphed through the Clone Wars. They watched as Anakin kept secrets so as not to disappoint Obi-Wan, as Obi-Wan set aside what he knew of Padme and Anakin's romance out of love for them both, as Obi-Wan and Anakin became the famous heroes that could pull off miracles. They watched as Obi-Wan and Anakin gave each other confidence and safety in an environment fraught with risk and danger. And they saw their boys ascend to the height of their power, alone and together. Qui-Gon and Shmi could not be happier.

But they should have known it could not last. They watched with mounting dismay as Anakin allowed fear to dominate him and made it all too easy for Palpatine to manipulate and maneuver him into doing just what he wanted. Dutiful Obi-Wan grew distant as Council demands took time away from his brother. Padme, too, was busy with efforts to end the War, so Anakin was left alone with only Palpatine who mysteriously had time for him.

Qui-Gon knew now that there was no hope. It wasn't that Anakin would fall. It was that he **wanted** to. The Wars had woken bloodlust and without his wife and brother to counter Palpatine's poison, Anakin was lost. He knew this because of the way his old Master had been murdered. If Obi-Wan had been able to tell Anakin no, Qui-Gon thought it would have stopped Anakin, but it was not to be.

Shmi was afraid. Her Ani thought he loved his wife, but really, she knew it was just an excuse to rebel. Because love would not condone the anger in her son's heart. Love would let Padme go if it was her allotted time. Shmi and Qui-Gon looked at each other, worry in their eyes.

When Palpatine revealed himself as the Sith Master, Qui-Gon felt a brief hope as Anakin threatened him and then reported him to Mace. Perhaps the boy was finally learning prudence and getting help and would fulfill his destiny indirectly that way. Anakin was no match for Sidious for sheer evil and Force control. Only Master Yoda could hope to hold his own for an extended period if it came to Force use alone. But that hope was shattered when Anakin betrayed Mace and indirectly killed him. Qui-Gon saw Adi Gallia join the group of newly arrived Council members slain by Sidious.

Shmi put an arm around Qui-Gon as Obi-Wan fell into the sinkhole on Utapau. She felt Qui-Gon's acute distress and found she was afraid for Obi-Wan, too. Obi-Wan was almost like her own son, the same way she knew Anakin was almost Qui-Gon's. But miraculously, due to some subtle Force manipulation, both Obi-Wan and his mount survived. She and Qui-Gon were relieved when Obi-Wan made it into space. Qui-Gon mused that the Commander was unusually quick to accept Obi-Wan's death and get his men moving on another task. Almost as though Cody felt badly or didn't want to have to try to kill him a second time if his General somehow survived. Qui-Gon mourned the Jedi generals who fell. Good, brave men and women who'd only been trying to do what was right, betrayed by clones who were now nothing more than human droids. Indeed, on second thought, maybe Cody was just being pragmatic. Obi-Wan would have been within his rights to kill him if they met again.

Qui-Gon saw the death of the Old Republic. He found he felt nothing. His Master, various Jedi such as Pong Krell, and now Anakin, had already fallen. What was one more death? Shmi certainly didn't care. It would not have changed her situation had she been alive.

Qui-Gon saw the Trade Federation cowards who'd tried to kill him and Obi-Wan so long ago slain by Anakin. Again, he felt nothing. He supposed it was poetic justice for what they tried to do, but they weren't important enough to muster vengeance for. All he felt now was a sense of impending doom as everything began to fall apart at once.

And then, the unthinkable happened. The Temple massacre. Qui-Gon couldn't take it. He wept, quietly and bitterly, as the old, the young, and everyone in between was put to the saber or shot down. Shmi didn't know these people, and she now found she didn't know her own son. She and Qui-Gon embraced as they cried. And then, Qui-Gon abruptly tore himself from her arms as he heard Sidious renaming Anakin. Hatred like he'd never known coursed through him at that second, for Sidious and for Anakin, who had betrayed him, Obi-Wan, his wife, the Jedi, the galaxy, and his unborn twins.

"I'm so sorry, Master Jedi," Shmi sobbed tearfully. "I tried to raise him to know better; I really did. I must have failed."

Qui-Gon's glare was icy. "You're **sorry?** You expect that to be enough? He's destroyed the Jedi Order and pledged himself to the Sith! The Sith are the Jedi's enemies! I don't need to tell you about them. You have seen what they are. Bloodthirsty animals. No, worse than animals. At least, animals have the excuse of being **born** that way. Sith are that way by **choice."**

Shmi only cried harder. What could she say?

And then Qui-Gon sighed and lowered his gaze in shame and grief. Anakin, he realized, had also betrayed his mother. He lifted his gaze to her face. "Ms. Skywalker, my behavior just now was uncalled for and inappropriate. I should not have yelled at you that way. What Anakin chose is not your fault and I was wrong to blame you. Please forgive me." He bowed low and stood at arm's length in front of her.

She wiped her eyes and touched his forearm. "Before today, I thought Jedi were always calm, always practical. It is good to find that this is not the case, that Jedi have feelings like us civilians. You've seen so many of your people die. I'd be surprised if you didn't finally snap. I don't blame you at all. Everything you said, though delivered angrily, was true. I was not apologizing to try to fix anything, but I think you know that."

Qui-Gon nodded. "It has been done. There is nothing for it now. There are those who do evil things and turn their lives around. Such cases are rare, but good men like my old Master fell late in life, so it goes both ways. Our only hope now is that Anakin somehow has the courage to either try to leave or to attack the Emperor. But the Sith do not take kindly to betrayal. Either way, Anakin would have to be willing to die. But that would require remorse, which he doesn't have just now."

"Obi-Wan will not help him anymore. Not after he sees to what degree Ani has forsaken him."

Qui-Gon nodded. "It is a matter of life and death now. Anakin chose a side. Obi-Wan would be unwise to trust him."

They watched as Obi-Wan and Yoda walked through their devastated home, as Obi-Wan told survivors not to return there, as he watched his brother officially become a Sith with shock and horror, as Yoda (thankfully) dissuaded him from killing himself by going after the Emperor. And they watched with numb emptiness as Anakin Force choked his pregnant wife and showed Obi-Wan he was twisted beyond help.

But then came the fateful last words between former brothers, and Shmi and Qui-Gon found they still had tears left to cry and hearts still intact enough to break. Qui-Gon sat on the ground, face in his hands and his body shaking with despair, as his son screamed his betrayal, shame, and heartache at Anakin. Shmi sat near Qui-Gon, whimpering as her son told the man who had sacrificed so much for him that he hated him. Both stared at Anakin, maimed and burning to death. Qui-Gon saw Obi-Wan pick up Anakin's lightsaber and leave in the nick of time with Padme. They both saw Sidious take Anakin away.

Qui-Gon raised his head and looked at Shmi with his peripheral vision. "I'm sorry about what Obi-Wan did to Anakin. As a Jedi, Obi-Wan should have killed him. It would have been kinder. I'm sure that when the duel started, he intended to kill him cleanly. But he was willing to leave him burning to death in the end because he couldn't kill him or save him."

"I agree that Obi-Wan should have at least taken Ani out of the fire. But I cannot agree that he should have killed him. Ani's my son. I cannot wish death for him. But I'm more concerned about the maiming. I don't think that was really necessary."

"It wasn't. But at the same time, I'm not sure Obi-Wan consciously intended to do it. He warned Anakin not to jump, knowing the danger involved, but it doesn't seem in his character to be willing to maim his own apprentice. Unless he had already considered Anakin an enemy, in which case, he probably intended it. However, judging by Obi-Wan's distress, I want to believe the maiming was accidental, because Obi-Wan clearly hadn't accepted that Anakin was gone. If he considered Anakin a true enemy, I assure you he'd have killed him, apprentice or not. He does not trust him, but he still loves him. If he intended to maim Anakin, it's because of Vader. Anakin tried to Force choke Obi-Wan. I cannot believe that Anakin would have done that to either his wife or Master had he been in his right mind. It's a similar situation."

"Ani and Obi-Wan both seemed confused about whether they were enemies or brothers who disagreed. In the end, Ani seemed to decide Obi-Wan was an enemy and Obi-Wan decided Ani was still his apprentice. But Obi-Wan was right that Ani isn't thinking straight. He really isn't himself anymore, so that conclusion may not really be his."

Qui-Gon nodded. "I believe Anakin still loves Obi-Wan as well, or would if he ever gets rid of the influence of the Sith."

"Well, it's as you said. The maiming and burning is already done. I can accept that your son intended that action against the Sith part of Anakin rather than his apprentice. Because he left Ani alive, I can forgive the pain he caused him."

"It's not so easy for me. Anakin broke Obi-Wan's heart when he said he hated him. Having trained my share of apprentices, I can imagine the depth of that agony. All Obi-Wan's hard work, come to naught. And yours as well. I cannot forgive him until Obi-Wan is healed."

Shmi nodded in understanding. "I cannot say I'd feel any differently if the situation were reversed. Anakin's wounds are superficial. Obi-Wan's will linger as he remembers the event. Both our sons will be miserable, in different ways. But I do not know where my Ani will find solace. Your son will at least be able to say he did his best for Ani and that he took care of Padme and the children. He will know he did good things. Ani will know he ruined his life and lost everything of value."

"That will not be a comfort to Obi-Wan. He will tell himself he failed, that he hadn't trained Anakin well. As for Padme, he will say he couldn't save her. Obi-Wan has a tendency to blame himself for everything that goes wrong. I've tried to train it out of him, but much like Anakin's recklessness, it couldn't be done." He chuckled sadly. But his smile turned genuine for a brief moment as he saw Obi-Wan holding Luke. Shmi smiled as well, seeing her grandchildren. And then, Padme was in the Force, lost and brokenhearted. Qui-Gon called to her, and she gasped and looked at him and Shmi.

"Master Jinn," Padme whispered, "I'm so sorry about what happened on Naboo. I wanted to thank you for risking your life for me and my people."

Qui-Gon shook his head compassionately. "There's no need, young one," he murmured gently. "It is Obi-Wan who deserves the thanks for eliminating the threat to both of you."

Padme laughed sadly. "I tried to thank him, but Obi-Wan said you deserved it more, that you did most of the work. He did accept my condolences, though, and I promised him I'd thank you if I ever got the chance."

Qui-Gon's chuckle was fond and Shmi noted the proud warmth in his eyes. Padme found the sound actually eased her broken heart somewhat. "Jinn and Kenobi. We made quite a team in our day. I guess we're still quite a pair."

"Obi-Wan is a good man and a great friend," Padme praised.

Qui-Gon nodded and Padme turned to Shmi, her eyes filling with tears as she remembered Anakin and the reason she was now in the Force. "Mother?" Padme queried, sounding like a forlorn little girl.

Shmi embraced her daughter-in-law and held her as she sobbed on her shoulder.

Qui-Gon touched Shmi's shoulder. "I must go see to my own," he murmured apologetically.

Shmi nodded. "Of course. He needs you. I wish you both well."

"May the Force be with you. And I hope one day, Anakin returns to you, to Padme, to all who love him."

"Thank you, Master Jedi. May the Force be with you and your son."


End file.
